Idolizing Others Will Take You Nowhere

Recently Sachin Tendulkar became the first batsman in the world to score 200 runs in a one day international match. Next day media went gaga over it. Most Indians are fans of Sachin Tendulkar and they were extremely happy. Lot of them must have spent hours reading and discussing the achievement though they might have see it live on TV earlier. What a waste of time and energy. Do not get me wrong. I am not against Sachin, I am against wasting time eulogizing our heroes. Wouldn't it be better to use that time to do something constructive?

It is good to appreciate an achiever but we should not be emotionally attached to the success or failure of that person. If that hero succeeds we are happy and if the hero is unsuccessful we are sad. For example some people will be happy if Sachin succeeds while India loses a match. Similarly most peoples' sentiments are attached to cricket team in India. If the Indian cricket team wins they are happy whereas if it loses they are sad and may skip their meals. At the same time very few people are upset that India is competing for the last position in the hockey world cup. The reason is they are not sentimentally attached to the Hockey Team.

Another example is obsession with film stars. Fans of a film star may become violent if you criticize their hero. Some fans have committed suicide on the death of their hero. Such a waste of life.

It is better to focus on your strength and work on it. No one deserves that kind of adulation and idolizing. If you admire the qualities then learn from them and use them for your betterment. For example we should learn from the power of concentration and amount of hard work Sachin puts in to produce the great performances instead of just watching him on TV and celebrating his success as if they are your own. It would be greater tribute to your hero if you put your efforts in developing yourself using the qualities which you may admire in him.

So go for some workout today or a yoga session or take some decision to invest wisely. Let us produce more great people and leaders instead of bunch of emotional fools.

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Stop being a Doormat

Do you feel that no one listens to you? Do you feel that people take you for granted by your friends and relatives? Do you feel that you are exploited at the work? Are you tired of people treating as their doormat?
There are people out there who mistake your sincerity and decency to meekness and try to take advantage. If you give in to them they become bolder and next time they are back to exploit you. These people are present everywhere as colleagues, bosses, relatives. Standing upto these situations is very important because, you can lose your self esteem very fast with these kind of people. There is no point in sulking privately. Stand up and face them. You are responsible for your situation and if you allow them to dictate you are giving the control of your destiny in the hands of others.

Here are few suggestions to follow if you want to come out of that situation.

1. Start Saying No
   Learn to say no to the task which you feel is not justified. Even if you are afraid, still say no. No one should be allowed to take you for granted. The people who are unreasonable while dealing with you are also aware of that, only thing is they are confident that they can bully you into doing it since you always allow that. Once you start saying No, and then say than whenever there is some unreasonable demand gradually you will earn respect and able to bring the situation into your favor.


2. Do Not Be Afraid of Loosing
   Many times we are afraid that if we say no, we will lose these friends or relatives and therefore cannot say no or continue to tolerate their nonsense. Remember that true friends or well wishing relatives will not like to hurt you. If they do that then tell them so and in case there is no improvement, it is better to separate with them. Life is too precious and short to tolerate wrong kind of people in your life.


3. Improve your Self Esteem
   Usually people who are treated as doormat are those who lack self esteem and it gets eroded further whenever bad things happen again and again. Start saying no which is mentioned in the point number 1. That is the first step. There are other steps which can be useful and mainly they are related so removing the fears related to social interactions. You can take baby steps to success. Here is an article on removing your fears.

It is your life and do not allow anyone to treat you shabbily. Once you take the first brave step, you will find that people will treat you more respectfully. Continue to take braver steps and you will find that other aspects of your life also starts improving magically and no one will treat you as a doormat again.

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Seek out Negative Response to Become Braver

There are various techniques to become brave. One of them is to seek out negative results. When you expect negative response in advance you loose the fear of rejection. When you loose the fear of rejection you start approaching a challenge in a braver manner without nervousness and as a paradox your chances of success increases.

When you start this, treat this as an experiment and try to observe the outcome instead of attaching yourself to the result. Detaching yourself from the results is what will increase the courage. Try out the following three experiments.

1. Ask for Lift
   Ask for lift from 10 motorists. If they stop then it is great but do not go with them. Tell them a destination 500 km away so that you can avoid them. Your aim is not to go but ask for lift. Keep asking for the lift from at least 10 persons.


2. Give Interviews
   Make a aim and attempt to give 10 interviews. Again your aim should not be selection rather the interaction with the interviewer. This will help you to face rejection and will be very helpful when you are really looking for a job.


3. Try selling to 10 People
   Get a new T-Shirt which should be nicely packed and approach 10 people in a crowded place and ask if they would buy the T-Shirt.

You can similarly think of other things to try out and then go out and do those. You will end up more courageous and enriched with newer experiences.

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